My life revolved around work and whatever kept me entertained outside of it. I was comfortable living in my head. Thinking, analysing, keeping busy. I didn't really question it.
Breathwork didn’t give me another answer or fix me. It taught me how to feel.
Over time, the ways I'd learned to cope with life stopped working. Heartbreak, grief, disappointment and loss brought me face to face with feelings I didn't know how to deal with and pain I could no longer distract myself from.
Underneath it was an old belief I'd carried for as long as I could remember: that something was wrong with me. That I wasn't good enough. That love was something I had to earn. The pain became so big that I started looking for answers, and eventually, I started looking at myself.
It wasn't easy. The more I allowed myself to feel, the more there was to feel. I began to realise how much pain I'd been carrying since I was young and how good I'd become at running away from it without even noticing.
Breathwork, together with psychotherapy, helped me slowly develop the capacity to feel emotions I'd spent years avoiding, without losing myself in them. I started recognising my patterns, the fears behind my decisions, and the ways I tried to protect myself from being hurt. And I began to understand something important: so much of my suffering came from believing that I was the problem.
Questioning that belief has become some of the most important work of my life.
I now have more compassion for myself, and fear no longer makes my decisions. And, as I became more willing to feel the difficult things, I also became more available for joy, real love and connection and the simple pleasure of being alive.
I don't want to feel less of life anymore. I want to be here for it.


